Hello my friend,
We’ve had our first week of 2018!
How are you doing?
I am sure you have been inundated with e-mails encouraging you to set resolutions, intentions and goals for your New Year.
All that stuff can be incredibly valuable, but it can also leave us feeling a bit overwhelmed.
[By the way, I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions! you can find out why here]
I am more of a Visioning type of person, I believe in the power of visualisation and feeling into where we are going to go next.
As we allow ourselves to truly connect inwards, we visualise from our Higher Self, rather than from our goal-setting mind, heavily influenced by external forces, images and ideals.
Over the next week, I will be sharing with you the 4 Key practises I will be working with in the early part of 2018 in order to ensure that I am in alignment with my Higher Self and enable the greatest impact for you and the biggest joy for me.
I would obviously have loved it if these 4 practises could form a neat acronym, but they don’t!
All the same, they are very useful to us.
Let’s start with FOCUS.
To me, focusing is all about turning down the noise on distractions.
Winter is ideal for this, but very seldom before the festive season.
January, however, is perfect for retreating, going within, reflecting and de-cluttering. I spent a good hour or so yesterday unsubscribing to things that no longer resonate with me for example. My meditation practise is calling me to go deeper.
Turning down the noise, going within and de-cluttering are ESSENTIAL if we are serious about FOCUS.
Last year, I ran a 30 – day challenge where I did something every day for a lighter and brighter mindset and encouraged the Wish Tree community to do the same.
One of my favourite parts of the challenge was Decluttering for a lighter and brighter mindset. So today, in the name of FOCUS, I’d thought we’d revisit those learnings together.
The Art of Feng-shui teaches us that clutter is anything unfinished, unused, unresolved or disorganised and when we clear our clutter, our energy and creativity will increase.
I have learnt that people who are serious about manifesting wonderful things in their lives understand about the importance of letting go of stuff that no longer serves them. And when I say stuff I don’t just mean physical things, but old limiting beliefs, unhelpful behaviours or toxic relationships.
Author and Life-Design Coach Gail Blanke says that:
“When we throw out the mental clutter, we clear our souls”.
The things we keep with us physically and mentally causing clutter in our physical environments and relationships energetically blocks the flow of abundance, getting in the way of the happiness we desire.
Until we are willing to let go, there will literally be no space for new opportunities and flow. No Focus.
Coach, writer and TEDx speaker Kathleen Ventura suggests that
“Often we hold onto resentment and deny forgiveness, then wonder why it’s so challenging to feel grateful and truly appreciate the things we have that matter.”
And of course, Gratitude is the birthplace of abundance. I am going to talk about this more next week.
Arts and Crafts Icon William Morris advised: “Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful”.
But Kathleen Ventura suggests that we must start our de-cluttering process by picturing the highest vision you hold for yourself and your life.
[Cue: go to the Visioning Activity].
Once we have felt into this bigger vision, we are to visit every little nook and cranny of our home and evaluate everything – open every drawer, old box and cupboard and ask:
” Is that old stained T-shirt or towel with holes welcome in that picture of me and what I truly want”?
So aside from getting rid of the things we don’t use anymore, we should also eliminate the items that are not invited into the next phase of our lives with us.
And then it is the issue of de-cluttering our RELATIONSHIPS.
The bottom line is this: we need to be around people who love and support us. The moment we understand that that is what we deserve, is the moment we find the courage to say no to toxic behaviours or relationships.
Who in your life do you need to set better boundaries with? Who in your life do you feel does not fully respect you? Or see you, hear you or make you feel valued? Are there people who only call you when they want something from you? Make a list and feel into what you need to do next.
Also, when we’re looking to attract abundance, surrounding ourselves with others who see themselves as abundant is extremely important.
Ventura also encourages us to Declutter our Emotional Baggage by practising forgiveness.
I remember having some really big shifts after reading “The Book of Forgiving- the fourfold path for healing ourselves and our world”, by Desmond Tutu and his daughter Mpho a couple of years ago.
Forgiveness is a gift we give OURSELVES.
Our path to feeling deserving of love and happiness is one of healing our past, owning our story, letting go of shame and of saying no to the people and situations that make us feel rubbish about ourselves. I find that practicing forgiveness is central in this process.
And not just forgiving others in our lives that we feel wronged us, but most importantly, forgiving ourselves for the choices we made in the past that didn’t nourish us.
Forgiveness is all about regaining our power. As long as we bear a grudge against others, or ourselves, we hand our power over and we feel like victims.
Forgiveness is about acknowledging our story and releasing people and the messages of unworthiness they gave us, and by doing so, no longer letting what happened to us define us anymore.
Forgiveness is about allowing ourselves peace and freedom from the past.
We go from disempowered [victim] to empowered and free.
And what isn’t possible from a place of empowered and free?!
This little exercise supports the practise of forgiveness and self-love:
1. Write down the names of all the people in your life you feel have wronged you or made you feel bad about yourself. AND/ OR write down all the messages of unworthiness you are telling yourself based on shame from the past.
2. Choose a quiet space for yourself and bring your list. Go through each name on your list, bringing each person in turn into your awareness. Say to them – I forgive you and release you fully and completely – you no longer have any power over me. AND/OR Bring each message of unworthiness to your attention in turn, and say to yourself: I release you fully and completely – you no longer serve me on my path to love and happiness.
If you choose to still be in relationship with the person who has hurt you, ask yourself, what do I need in order to renew this relationship? Then ask it of the person who hurt you. Your decision to renew the relationship will most likely hinge on whether you get what you need from the person who caused you harm.
De-cluttering our homes and our relationships not only takes determination and courage but is underpinned by belief in an abundant life where we live from self-love.
Like one of my heroes of all times, Nelson Mandela, put it:
“Courageous people do not fear forgiving for the sake of peace”.
How much more focused do you feel?
Tomorrow I’ll be writing to you about Grounding and I’ll be sharing some wisdom from my mentor Lisa Nichols on this subject.
For now, I’ll send you my Love, (Always!)