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Peace was always my greatest longing, but for most of my life I went looking for it in all the wrong places.

I searched for Peace in all the wrong places, because I was on the run. On the run from a story deep inside me, formed through the trauma of abandonment in the earliest part of my existence, that insisted that I wasn’t enough, just as I am. That story owned me, held me hostage, wrapped me in a cloak of shame.

I believed I had to somehow justify my existence. So I set out to find peace by proving my worthiness through worthy causes. I became an angry peace activist. Fighting for the underdog, fixing on the outside what felt broken on the inside. Rescuing others, whilst neglecting my own needs.

I also sought peace through perfecting, performing and pleasing, attempting to find belonging and approval through external validation.

But it seemed that no matter how hard I tried, it - I - was still not enough. I was deeply entrenched in the hamster-wheel of never enough.

I numbed my pain through many addictions: rushing, pushing, working myself to exhaustion, co-dependent relationships and partying hard.

Spirit stopped me in my tracks many times and told me, in no uncertain terms, that I would soon hit a dead end if I carried on living my life the way I was.

Yet, in my stubbornness, I wouldn't listen.

Yes, I made some small changes. I began a modest self-care and yoga practise, but many of my destructive patterns persisted.

I was still on the run.

 

Then in 2011, the world as I knew it, ended.

My beloved mother died suddenly and tragically. I lost my family home. The toxic relationship with my father hit an all-time low and broke down.

I suffered post-traumatic stress alongside my grief.

All the while I was trying to keep up with increasing demands in my career and to form a deeper relationship with my new partner, in a city where I had no friends or family of my own.

The gift of my circumstances was that I woke up. I began to study many spiritual teachers. I allowed myself to be held and supported by healers and guides. I embarked on a journey to heal my life.

Little by little, I pieced together my fragmented past and began to see clearly how most of my decisions, for as long as I could remember, had been dictated by internalised shame passed on through generations.

 

Setting myself free from what had been, meant I could create my future any way I wanted.

I trained as a Transformational Life and Leadership coach. I re-connected with joy and intuition.

I discovered that I desired, more than anything, to become a mother. It had been my best-kept secret all those years when my life didn't belong to me.

But I wasn't getting pregnant. And my belief in scarcity came flooding back - why was I unable to achieve what everyone around me seemed to be able to, with seeming ease? The old familiar fear of not being enough, and unworthy of wonderful things- came to haunt me yet again.

Eventually, my successful career came to a halt due to fertility treatment. My whole life now centred around trying to achieve my singular goal. I tried every advice, read every article.

I had, once again, attached my happiness, my ability to fully experience peace, to external circumstances. Outcomes that were out of my control that, yet, I still tried to force. My life became contracted.

 

I needed to stop. Stop to fully learn my lesson, so that I could rise to my highest purpose.

It wasn't until the heartbeat of my unborn baby stopped, that I finally stopped.

Shortly after, I was told by doctors that I would never be able to birth my own healthy, living child in this lifetime.

That's when everything became still. And quiet.

Perfectly quiet, so that at last I would listen.

Listen inwards to who I truly am, beyond my human incarnation.

As I lost almost everything that I held important in my life, I found the real truth of who I am: Love, Light. 

 

The Universe had a different plan for me and I surrendered to it.

I learned who my true teachers in Love are, and it was revealed to me that radical gratitude is the miracle that re-shapes our story, that gives us the gift of our lives back, that allows all of our lives to be magnificent. From start to finish.

I learned that absolutely nothing and no-one on the outside can make me whole and complete.

I learned that Peace begins with me. With Love. With knowing that not only am I enough, but that I AM, in fact, Love.

I was the one I had been searching for, just as you are the one you have been searching for.

In 2016, I was guided to create an online platform - an Academy for Lightworkers - to heal our core wounds, return to Love, and live our highest purpose through our abundant heart-led businesses, contributing to the healing of the world.

It quickly grew into a vibrant, thriving community anchored in Love, Peace and Mother Earth connection, enabling healers, coaches and wellbeing facilitators of all kinds, to create our own legacies of light.


Beloved friend, you were made for these times. 

It's your time to shine! Start your journey by receiving the free meditation: YOU WERE MADE FOR THESE TIMES.

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