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No more striving: we are worthy of thriving just because we exist

Striving is an addiction that makes us believe our lives are not our own. We can choose to choose life today.

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Emily Johnsson
Nurturing changemakers for a whole world

When we let go of striving, pure creative life-force energy can flow freely in the ecosystem of our lives.

We experience freedom, aliveness and oneness with all of life.

We become disinterested in constantly doing and filling our diaries to the brim.

We lose interest in chasing after things and status symbols and accolades.

We know that none of those things make us better or more special or worthy of respect or recognition than anyone else.

When we let go of striving, pure creative life-force energy can flow freely without the need for measurable outcomes or tangible outputs.

It flows just because we’ve set it free, in the same breath we liberated ourselves from striving.

Striving is an extension of “never enough”- a function of our separation to our own innate abundant Nature.

A symptom of having forgotten that we are worthy of thriving just because we exist. Without needing to earn our right to be here.

Striving brings impatience and urgency. It demands: “it must happen now”! instead of being in the now, knowing that each plant grows in its own time.

Striving breathes down our neck and wants us to hurry up already. So we rush. A little more. Learn some more tools for optimising our time. Squeeze another project into the mix. Say yes to one more thing.

Eventually, striving brings overwhelm, burnout and emptiness.

We forget that joy and play and pleasure are intrinsic to being human. Instead we make ourselves more productive.

Striving as means to achieve wholeness is an illusion.

Striving makes us confuse relief with peace: the momentary calming of our nervous system when we complete a myriad of tasks enough for a whole team, or prove a point, or please a client or boss, is not contentment. It’s a short fix, a brief pause from the relentless voice of striving.

Striving is an addiction.

Striving makes us believe our lives are not our own.

That we must, or should, or ‘have to’ a whole load of things in order to be good, worthy, respected or deserving of love and belonging.

We don’t.

You don’t.

Striving is a made up way of life.

We can choose to be free today.

You can choose to let go today.

We can choose to say no today.

You can choose to choose life today.

2 thoughts on “No more striving: we are worthy of thriving just because we exist”

  1. Veronica

    Thanks Emily for this post. Striving is so ingrained in our behavior that we may even be striving in our growth, evolution, spiritual life, or how we prefer to name it. It’s not about achieving or having goals in our journey. It’s not about becoming better, as if we’re not good or worth or enough now. Already. It’s about coming home to who we are. It’s about creating space, letting go, un-learning, decanting noise to listen to our inner voice, gaining awareness, allowing ourselves to…be, choosing our own life over someone else’s expectation. Thank you for supporting this journey with courage and wisdom. For donating and sharing the uncomfortable questions, the radical statements, the enabling truths, no matter how tough they may sound.

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Emily Johnsson | November 25, 2023
Self-Leadership
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About Emily & White Supremacy

Emily is a space holder and self-leadership coach to changemakers. She has over 20 years experience in the field of human development, learning and growth, and leads the coaching and consultancy company Wish Tree since 2011. Her work centres around wholeness – whole humans, whole communities, whole organisations, whole ecosystems. A whole world. Her changemakership is therefore dedicated to clearing distortions and fragmentations that relate to our perceptions of separation.

Emily has been exposed to and ‘sat with’ systemic issues around race, racism, privilege and injustice her whole life. She was born in Camden, London, in the late 1970s to a Swedish immigrant single mum and spent her first formative years in a highly culturally and ethnically diverse setting. As a baby, Emily and her mum lived in a bedsit in a shared house with a Black British family. Her first memory of Father Christmas was of him as a Bangladeshi man. Emily’s mum worked with refugee families and in Children’s Homes in inner city London, and since she had no access to child care opportunities, Emily joined her at work. For a while, Emily had an older Black British foster sister called Debbie. She was very often the only white child in the community of children of which she was a part.

Emily moved to Sweden with her mum as a child and as a teenager became involved with, and led, antiracism youth work in her local town through her school and council-initiated networks in the 1990s.

Her mum, who was active in the peace-and- environmental movement and who had been involved as an ally in the civil rights movement in the US on her travels there, introduced her to Black feminist and activist writers such as Alice Walker, Toni Morrison and Audre Lord, and actively taught her about white privilege, white supremacy and the truth of colonialism. She was also taught about the importance of learning from Indigenous wisdom keepers in order to heal and evolve as humanity, and to (in those days) stop climate change.

In contrast, on her father’s side, Emily is of British Colonial descent. Emily’s grandmother was born in Zimbabwe to Scottish sheep-farmers. Her grandfather came from a poor English background but won a scholarship to Cambridge University to study law. As many young British men of his time who sought “adventure, a good job and travel”, Emily’s grandfather joined the colonial service in the final days of the British Empire, and served in several African countries as a high-ranking colonial officer. He spoke Zulu and Emily’s father spoke Swazi and Swahili before being sent to Britain as a child to attend boarding school, thousands of miles away from his parents.

Although Emily did not grow up with her father or his family, she eventually came to know them and have a relationship with them, which involved taking responsibility for understanding and healing her own familial and ancestral relationship to colonialism and white supremacy.

In this process, she came to see, feel and understand first hand and close up, the deeper psychological workings of the system of white supremacy, the colonial mind and its intimate links with narcissism, perfectionism, patriarchy and extractive economies and behaviours.

Between 2003-2015, Emily worked as a learning researcher and Access, Diversity and Inclusion enabler in the Arts & Cultural Sector, deeply rooted in the Convention of the Rights of the Child and the Human Rights Convention. She worked across the U.K and Scandinavia contributing to a number of large scale change projects, self-evaluation initiatives, conferences and trainings such as “Access for All”, “Inspiring Learning for All”, “Belonging – the Voices of London’s Refugees”, “The West Indian Front Room”, “Kultur och Fritid för Alla”, “Vidgat Deltagande”, “In this curriculum I don’t exist”, “In between two worlds – London teenagers’ ideas about Black History, Belonging and being British” to name a few. She worked with a wide range of marginalised communities as well as with leaders and directors holding white privilege, facilitating necessary and brave conversations challenging the status quo.

Emily has worked across many cultures and languages around the world from Sri Lanka to South Africa, Costa Rica and India to Romania and Denmark, continuously reflecting on and challenging white saviour tendencies. In this process has come to observe how white supremacy and racism works differently in different countries depending on context and history.

In 2020, in the wake of the murder of George Floyd, Emily became a loud voice in the Wellness industry by calling in leaders bypassing white supremacy through ‘love and light’ rhetoric, exceptionalism, colourblindness and virtue signalling. She closed down several online coaching circles because white participants were unwilling to dive deeper into their own internalised white supremacy, and rendered the spaces not only additionally unsafe, but traumatising for BIPOC clients. Her platform and large facebook community for coaches and wellbeing facilitators centred BIWOC-led anti-racism conversations as a response.

Emily is a skilled and fiercely loving coach and space-holder with many years experience of creating safe spaces for accountability, healing, integration and growth to take place.

She is dedicated to her own ongoing learning, healing and unlearning of covert white supremacy. Examples of this are continuous learning from a wide range of anti-racism educators, authors and activists from around the world.

This bio has not been written with the intention of centring Emily in the context of Me & White Supremacy, but to transparently share about her background, values, skills and experience in order for you to make a conscious decision to choose her as a space-holder, or not.

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